I picked up the Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh at a little bookstore in Manzanita, Oregon, while I was on holiday.
It called out to me. So I took it home.
It took me a while to actually start reading it. (I have a massive pile of non-fiction, yet can’t seem to stop myself from buying more books.) And it honestly took me some months to read it, as there was a lot to digest. (And I read about 4 non-fiction books at the same time.)
I bought it because I want to learn to communicate better, with more compassion and kindness. Not just with my clients and students, but also with people in my family, like my partner and children. I worry I can be too terse and British at times, that my external ways to communicating don’t match my inner feelings. I love my friends and family. I want my communication with them to feel good, to be clear and to be full of kindness and understanding.
I thought maybe this book would help!
And it did.
Coming back to yourself through mindfulness
Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings on communicating confirmed that I’m doing many of the right things (that’s always good to hear). I consistently practice mindfulness in my life, both in terms of mindfulness meditation and also bringing mindfulness into many moments of my day. I continually come back to my body and breath, over and over and over again.
I get distracted and go out of the moment a lot. I have a busy life and a busy mind. But I keep coming back to right here and right now. Back to my breath. To the feeling of breath going into and out of my body.
Compassion for yourself allows you to feel compassion for others
I learned it’s key to have compassion and understanding of yourself. That then allows you to have compassion for others and understand their suffering.
Rather than getting angry at how other people respond and react, you can see their suffering and respond to them with compassion. But you need to look at your own suffering first and have compassion for yourself. Only then can you experience compassion for others.
I’ve been becoming increasingly interested in Buddhism over the last few years, so I enjoy reading books by teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh. This was a worthwhile read that I got some meaningful insights from.