Why you need to stop taking on other people’s emotions

You’re sensitive. You feel the world around you. The vibe in the room, the moods of the people in the grocery store, the heartache of the person waiting at the bus stop as you drive by.

I know. I’m sensitive too.

You also need to stop absorbing all this information. It’s not good for you.

It’s also not helpful to other people, either.

This might come as a surprise, so let’s unpack it a bit

Taking on other people’s emotions isn’t good for you

Why do you think taking on other people’s emotions might not be good for you?

Really, take a moment and tune into it. Here’s what comes up for me:

  • It leaves you feeling overwhelmed
  • It can cause feelings of physical pain and illness
  • It causes emotional pain, heaviness, fatigue, grogginess
  • It confuses you as to what’s your own emotions and what’s other people’s
  • You feel less grounded and sure of yourself
  • It stops you from trusting your own intuition and inner voice
  • It’s addictive. Like a certain brand of potato chips, once you pop open the energetic can,  it’s hard to stop

One of the things I encounter the most when I work with empathic people who are developing their gifts is their inability to trust whether what they are picking up is really from Spirit and intuition or from their own inner turmoil. This is because they’re so used to absorbing energy and information from everyone around them, they can’t tell what’s their own, what’s Spirit and what belongs to other people.

When you become so used to feeling everything from everyone around you, you lose connection with what you’re feeling yourself. You become less grounded in your own energy because you’re full of the swirling energy of the world around you.

Let’s face it. There’s a lot going on in this world that’s not unicorns, rainbows and stardust. There are some hard things happening on this planet, whether that’s the environment or in the political arena. The world at large is often not a super fun place to absorb energy from.

Knowing what’s going on with other people can also be addictive. I’ve always been a curious person, wanting to understand the world around me, wanting to understand people (because maybe if I did, I could feel safe and get my needs met). 

However, just like snooping on your partner’s cell phone, it’s not healthy. Just because you can pick up on the energy around you doesn’t mean you should. You need healthy boundaries. 

Taking on other people’s emotions isn’t good for them

I haven’t met an empath who’s not a healer in some shape, form or way. People who feel other people’s pain naturally want to help them. It’s a lovely desire.

But it’s not always helpful.

I happen to believe that our soul self is like the author of the book of our life. As our soul, we decide on certain events and plot points to set in place for our character (us in this life) to experience. We want to see what happens.

Some people believe in soul contracts. Others in metaphysics, that we create our own reality by the things we believe, thoughts we think and actions we take.

Whatever you believe, this is how I think it works (take what works for you and leave the rest).

One way or another, we create the things we experience in this life. (Note: if you are grieving right now, I am not saying it’s your fault that a loved one died, this is in no way about blame.)

We hopefully learn and grow from these experiences, no matter how hard they are. 

As an empath, when you take on someone else’s pain, in an attempt to relieve them from it, you’re causing them to need to re-create that pain in some other way, so they can continue to learn from the experience.

No one can do the work for you. And you can’t do the work for anyone else.

The upside of not taking on other’s emotions

When you stop taking on what’s not yours some incredibly good things happen.

You’re more grounded and centered, which allows you to access your wise mind and intuition. This helps you live your life better, with greater emotional clarity and lightness. It gives you the insight and energy to heal your own emotional wounds.

When you’re able to heal from your own losses and hurts, it allows you to truly help others in ways they want to be helped and that are beneficial to them. 

This in turn creates a positive energy cycle that lifts all of us up in a healthy way, complete with solid boundaries and strong integrity.

Like many things in life that we want to change about ourselves (mindset, diet, exercise habits, meditation practice, whatever), the first step in this process is deciding to do it. Being willing to take a step back from the energies around us and learning how to get comfortable with the energy inside ourselves.